Archives for March 2006
Is this why no one wants to exercise?
Little old ladies
A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.
At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol – Dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead.
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead.
Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.
So the Minister asked the congregation – What can you learn from this demonstration?
A little old woman in the back quickly raised her hand and said, “As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!”
Don’t you just love little old ladies??? I do.
Submitted by: Dianne/ Lady Di ~Goodwill/Godwill Ambassador
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spendin’ the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night!”
She said, “Aye, did ye now.Â And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spendin’ the rest of me life, sittin’ in church beside me wife!”
“Oh, that is very nice, indeed, John!” said Mary.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.Â The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.Â You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years.Â Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
Submitted by: Dennis Driscoll