For You

Archive for October, 2006

WARNING FOR ALL WOMEN !

This is a heads up to those friends who haven’t experienced it yet, and an explanation to those friends and family who have. Most of you have read the scare-mail about the person whose kidneys were stolen while he was passed out. Well, read on. While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one [...]

Posted by rainy on October 31st, 2006 under Baby Boomers!, General Jokes, Pass it On, Women | Comment now »

Strange “Senior” Personal Ads Gleaned from Florida Papers

“Senior” Personal Ads Gleaned from Florida Papers (Who says We Seniors Have No Sense of Humor?)
FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80’s, slim, 5′4″ (used to be 5′6″), searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus.
LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, and am looking for someone to [...]

Posted by rainy on October 30th, 2006 under General Jokes, Men, Senior Jokes, Women | Comment now »

Carve Your Own Pumpkin!

*****
–>http://www.toilette-humor.com/slash/carve_pumpkin.swf

Posted by rainy on October 29th, 2006 under General Jokes | Comment now »

Betcha didn’t know this

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is
“screeched.”
“Dreamt” is the only English word that ends in the letters “mt”.
Almonds are members of the peach family.
The symbol on the “pound” key (#) is called an octothorpe.
The dot over the letter ‘i’ is called a tittle.
Ingrown toenails are hereditary.
The word “set” has more definitions than any [...]

Posted by rainy on October 29th, 2006 under General Jokes | Comment now »

Stressed? Try these stress relievers.

Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at a time.
Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa and vice-versa.
Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
When someone says “have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
Make a list of things to do that you have [...]

Posted by rainy on October 26th, 2006 under General Jokes, Lighten Up, The Gene Pool | Comment now »

Baby Boomer Anthems

Baby boomer anthems re-released with new lyrics suitable for an aging audience.
–>The Beatles–”I Get By with a Little Help From Depends”
–>Carly Simon–”You’re So Varicose Vein”
–>The Bee Gees–”How Can You Mend a Broken Hip”
–>Roberta Flack–”The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face”
–>Johnny Nash–”I Can’t See Clearly Now”
–>Procol Harem–”A Whiter Shade of Hair”
–>Herman’s Hermits–”Mrs. Brown You’ve Got [...]

Posted by rainy on October 25th, 2006 under Baby Boomers!, General Jokes, Music of the 50's, Music of the 60's, Music of the 70's | Comment now »

Fly Safe

Posted by rainy on October 24th, 2006 under General Jokes | Comment now »

Church Announcements

This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
Tuesday at 4:00 P.M. there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk, please come early.
Wednesday, the ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing, [...]

Posted by rainy on October 24th, 2006 under General Jokes | Comment now »

Grandma’s Letter

Got a letter from Grandma the other day.
She writes: The other day, I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting; so [...]

Posted by rainy on October 23rd, 2006 under General Jokes, Grandparents, The Gene Pool, Women | Comment now »

How Old is Grandma?

How old is Grandma???
Stay with this — the answer is at the end. It will blow you away.
One evening a grandson was talking to his grandmother about current events.
The grandson asked his grandmother what she thought about the shootings at schools, the omputer age, and just things in general.
The Grandma replied, “Well, let me think [...]

Posted by rainy on October 12th, 2006 under Do you remember, General Jokes | Comment now »