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Archive for January, 2007
TEN DOLLAR DEAL
Fred and his wife Edna went to the state fair every year. Every year Fred would say, “Edna, I’d like to ride in that there airplane.†And every year Edna would say, “I know Fred, but that airplane ride costs ten dollars, and ten dollars is ten dollars.â€
One year Fred and Edna went to the [...]
Custom Snowmen - your own design…
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Posted by rainy on January 27th, 2007 under General Jokes | Comment now »Aged Poodle
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful aged poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost.. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.
The [...]
Backwards Life
“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death! What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of [...]
Posted by rainy on January 16th, 2007 under Baby Boomers!, General Jokes, Senior Jokes | Comment now »Excerpts From Medical Records/Letters
The baby was delivered, the cord clamped and cut and handed to the pediatrician, who breathed and cried immediately.
Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
The skin was moist and dry.
Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid.
The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
She stated that she had been constipated for most [...]
How Things Used To Be, or….when I was a kid…
Next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and still smelled pretty good by June. However, they [...]
More Newspaper Headline
–Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
–Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
–Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
–Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
–Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
–Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
–Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
–Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
–Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
–Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
–War Dims Hope for Peace
–If [...]
QUESTIONS THAT NO ONE HAS ANSWERS TO………
Why are they called buildings, when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?
The light went out, but where to ?
Why do banks charge you a “non-sufficient funds fee” on money they already know you don’t have?
Why is it you have a “pair” of pants [...]
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