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Archive for March, 2007

Retirement - Baby Boomer Style

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.
Well, for example, the other day I went downtown and went into a shop. I was only in there for about 5 minutes and when I came out and there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I went up to […]

Posted by rainy on March 30th, 2007 under Retirement | Comment now »

Barbie ~ For the “Over-40″ Crowd

1.) Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
2.) Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie’s bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead! With hand-held fan […]

Posted by rainy on March 28th, 2007 under Baby Boomers! | Comment now »

Retired Floridians Playing Poker - One Drops Dead

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table.
Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, “So, who’s gonna tell his wife?”

Posted by rainy on March 22nd, 2007 under General Jokes, Senior Jokes, Husbands|Wives | Comment now »

Two Dollar Bills

The $2 Bill. Everyone should start carrying them!
I think we need to quit saving our $2 bills and bring them out in public. We could have alot of fun! The younger generation doesn’t know they exist.

Posted by rainy on March 18th, 2007 under The Gene Pool, General Jokes, Do you remember | Comment now »

Ten Ways to Make Driving Less Boring

Write the words â€œHelp meâ€ on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
Keep at least five cats in the car.
Stop and […]

Posted by rainy on March 17th, 2007 under General Jokes | Comment now »

Mental Health Hotline

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependant, ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5 & 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want.

Posted by rainy on March 13th, 2007 under General Jokes | Comment now »

It’s Free … This is Heaven!

This 85 year old couple, having been married for almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out […]

Posted by rainy on March 11th, 2007 under General Jokes, Senior Jokes, Husbands|Wives | Comment now »

SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us “Old Folks” (those over 50, WAY over 50, or hovering near 50) are quite confused about how we should present ourselves. We are unsure about the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we try to conform to current fashions. Despite what you may have […]

Posted by rainy on March 10th, 2007 under General Jokes | Comment now »