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Archive for April, 2007
Pop Artists of the 60’s - Revisited
Some of the artists of the 60’s are revising their hits with new lyrics to accommodate aging baby boomers. They include:
Posted by rainy on April 30th, 2007 under Baby Boomers! | Comment now »The Proposal
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As […]
You May Be Getting Old If…
You May Be Getting Old If…
You’re asleep, but others worry that you’re dead.
Your back goes out more than you do.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age…and isn’t breaking any laws.
The Old Dog
A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful, elderly poodle named Cuddles, along for the company.
One day the old poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having […]
Forrest Gump is at the Pearly Gates!
The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper.
St. Peter said, “Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot […]
You Know You’re Getting Old When…
Time. Let’s face it, we’re all going to grow old. But how do we know when we’ve arrived? We’re here to help. You know you’re getting old when…
A 30-year mortgage sounds like a pretty clever scam.
You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a […]
My Favorite Things ~ The Senior Version
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favorite things..
Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are […]
The Sunday Drive - Senior Style
Posted by rainy on April 14th, 2007 under General Jokes, Senior Jokes | Comment now »
I’m sure you never did any of this…
Here are some ways to really annoy people big time…
Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of “Beeeep Bip Bip…”
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
The Strongest Man on Earth…
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the […]
Posted by rainy on April 12th, 2007 under General Jokes, Don't Mess with... | Comment now »
