Archives for April 2006
Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it’s important that we keep mentally alert. The saying; “If you don’t use it, you will lose it,” also applies to the brain, so…..
Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test and determine if you are losing it or are still “with it.”
OK, relax, clear your mind and…. begin.
1. What do you put in a toaster?
Answer: “bread.” If you said “toast,” then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself.
If you said, “bread,” go to Question 2.
2. Say “silk” five times. Now spell “silk.” What do cows drink?
Answer: Cows drink water. If you said “milk,” please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously over stressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children’s World.”
If you said “water,” proceed to question 3
3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a greenhouse made from?
Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, “green bricks,” what the devil are you still doing reading these questions?????
If you said “glass,” then go on to Question 4.
4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany .
Where would you bury the survivors? . . . in East Germany, West Germany or in “no man’s land”?
Answer: You do not, in any circumstances, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated.
If you said, “Don’t bury the survivors,” proceed to question 5
5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?
Answer: One degree! .. If you said, “360 degrees” or anything other than one degree,” you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room.
Everyone else proceed to the final question.
6. Without using a calculator — You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on. In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven.
What was the name of the bus driver?
Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don’t you remember?
It was YOU!!
Thank you Kay!
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.
“Hello.”Â “Is your daddy home?” he asked.
“Yes,” whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?”
The child whispered, “No.”
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”
“May I talk with her?”
Again the small voice whispered, “No.”
Thank you Dianne Fischer!
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,Â the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”
“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,Â “May I speak with the policeman?”
“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.
“Busy doing what?
“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”
“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.
“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,
“What are they searching for?”
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: “ME.”