1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids  next door won’t turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

16. You take naps.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real  work.

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends ’cause you know they’ll enjoy it & do.

And now you know why I am forwarding this to you…

~~~~~

Submitted by Dennis @ http:www.marketingnewsworld.com
Thanks Again!

Great Truths About Life That Adults Have Learned:

• Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
• There is always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.
• Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.
• The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere………… and let the air out of their tires.
• Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly car payment is due.
• Families are like fudge… mostly sweet with a few nuts.
• Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
• Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.
• Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.
• My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.
• The more you complain, the longer God lets you live.
• One day I shall burst my buds of calm and blossom into hysteria.
• If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.
• You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.
• Life’s golden age is when the kids are too old to need baby-sitters and too young to borrow the family car.