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Another…Don’t Mess With Seniors!

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They always ask at the doctor’s office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There’s nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk….

The Receptionist said, “Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today??”

“There’s something wrong with my dick”, he replied.

The Receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said.

The Receptionist replied; “Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”

The man replied, “You shouldn’t ask people questions in a room full of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone.”

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, “Yes??”

There’s something wrong with my ear,” he stated.

The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??”

I can’t pee out of it,” he replied.

The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you’re going to lose!

*****

Thanks Mom!

When I’m an Old Lady

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When I’m an old lady,
I’ll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness…
just as they did.

I want to pay back
all the joy they’ve provided,
Returning each deed.
Oh, they’ll be so excited!

I’ll write on the wall
with reds, whites and blues,
And bounce on the furniture
wearing my shoes.

I’ll drink from the carton
and then leave it out.
I’ll stuff all the toilets
and oh, how they’ll shout!

When they’re on the phone
and just out of reach,
I’ll get into things
like sugar and bleach,

Oh, they’ll snap their fingers
and then shake their head,
And when that is done
I’ll hide under the bed!

When they cook dinner
and call me to eat,
I’ll not eat my green beans
or salad or meat.

I’ll gag on my okra,
spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry
I’ll run… if I’m able!

I’ll sit close to the TV,
through the channels I’ll click,
I’ll cross both my eyes
just to see if they stick.

I’ll take off my socks
and throw one away,
And play in the mud
’til the end of the day!

And later in bed,
I’ll lay back and sigh,
I’ll thank God in prayer
and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down
with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan,
“She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”

My Kinda Woman

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An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night.

The old man would shout, “When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!”

Neighbors feared him, because of the many strange occurrences that took place in their neighborhood. And the old man liked the fact that he was feared.

To everyone’s relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 68. His wife had a closed casket at the wake. Then, after the burial, she went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow.

Her neighbors, concerned for her safety, asked, “Aren’t you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way up and out of the grave and come back to haunt you for the rest of your life?”

The wife put down her drink and said, “Naw, let him dig. I had him buried upside down…….”

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Submitted by Charlie
Thanks!