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Grandma’s Letter

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Got a letter from Grandma the other day.

She writes: The other day, I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a “Honk if you love Jesus” bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day, because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting; so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, I’m glad I did! What an uplifting experience followed!! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought about the Lord and how good He is… and I didn’t notice that the light had changed. It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn’t honked, I’d never have noticed! I found that LOTS of people love Jesus!

Why, while I was sitting there, the guy behind me started honking like crazy, and then he leaned out of his window and screamed, “For the love of GOD!!
GO! Jesus Christ, GO!” What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!
Everyone started honking! I just leaned out of my window and started waving and smiling at all these loving people. I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida back there because I heard him yelling something about a “sunny beach”…. I saw another waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up in the air. I asked my teenage grandson, in the back seat, what that meant. He said that it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something. Well, I’ve never met anyone from Hawaii, so I leaned out the window and gave him the good luck sign back.

My grandson burst out laughing… why, even he was enjoying this religious experience!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they got out of their cars and started walking towards me. I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I noticed the light had changed. I waved to all my sisters and brothers, grinning, and drove on through the intersection.
I noticed I was the only car that got through the intersection before the light changed again, and I felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after all the love we had shared; so I slowed the car down, leaned out of the window, and gave them all the Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away.

Praise the Lord for such wonderful folks!

Grandparents defined

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What Is A Grandparent?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)

Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little children of her own. They like other people’s.

A grandfather is a man grandmother.

Grandparents don’t have to do anything except be there when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn’t play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store and have lots of quarters for us.

When they take us for walks, they slow down past things like pretty leaves and caterpillars.

They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers and also Why we shouldn’t step on “cracks.”

They don’t say, “Hurry up.”

Grandparents don’t have to be smart. But they have to answer questions like “Why isn’t God married?” and “How come dogs chase cats?”

When they read to us, they don’t skip. They don’t mind if we ask for the same story over again.

Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if you don’t have television, because they are the only grown-ups who like to spend time with us.

They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when we’ve acted bad.

When I’m an old lady and live with my kids

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(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When I’m an old lady, I’ll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness…just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they’ve provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they’ll be so excited!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,

And I’ll bounce on the furniture…wearing my shoes.

I’ll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I’ll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they’ll shout!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they’re on the phone and just out of reach,

I’ll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they’ll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I’ll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I’ll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry…I’ll run…if I’m able!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll sit close to the TV, through the channels I’ll click,

I’ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I’ll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud ’til the end of the day!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I’ll lay back and sigh,

I’ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, “She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”

Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

~~~~~~~
Sent in by Dianne – Thanks!

Why Parents (Grandparents) Drink

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The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers, he dialed the employee’s home phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper.

“Hello.”  “Is your daddy home?” he asked.

“Yes,” whispered the small voice.

May I talk with him?”

The child whispered, “No.”

Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, “Is your Mommy there?”

“Yes.”

“May I talk with her?”

Again the small voice whispered, “No.”

Thank you Dianne Fischer!

Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message,  the boss asked, “Is anybody else there?”

“Yes,” whispered the child, “a policeman.”

Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee’s home, the boss asked,  “May I speak with the policeman?”

“No, he’s busy”, whispered the child.

“Busy doing what?

“Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman,” came the whispered answer.

Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the ear piece, the boss asked, “What is that noise?”

“A helicopter” answered the whispering voice.

“What is going on there?” demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.

Again, whispering, the child answered, “The search team just landed the helicopter.”

Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked,

“What are they searching for?”

Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle: “ME.”