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When I’m an old lady and live with my kids

Posted on May 30, 2006 Written by rainy Leave a Comment

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When I’m an old lady, I’ll live with each kid,

And bring so much happiness…just as they did.

I want to pay back all the joy they’ve provided.

Returning each deed! Oh, they’ll be so excited!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,

And I’ll bounce on the furniture…wearing my shoes.

I’ll drink from the carton and then leave it out.

I’ll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they’ll shout!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they’re on the phone and just out of reach,

I’ll get into things like sugar and bleach.

Oh, they’ll snap their fingers and then shake their head,

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,

I’ll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,

I’ll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,

And when they get angry…I’ll run…if I’m able!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

I’ll sit close to the TV, through the channels I’ll click,

I’ll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.

I’ll take off my socks and throw one away,

And play in the mud ’til the end of the day!

(When I’m an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I’ll lay back and sigh,

I’ll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.

My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,

And say with a groan, “She’s so sweet when she’s sleeping!”

Bless All Moms and Grandmas Everywhere!

~~~~~~~
Sent in by Dianne – Thanks!

Filed Under: Grandparents, Jokes about aging, Senior Jokes, Women

Seniors having babies…

Posted on May 21, 2006 Written by rainy Leave a Comment

You’ve probably read the stories like I have. Older Women having babies. I think the latest was a 63 year old woman. Lots of discussion going on about that. And of course, someone came up with a good joke about it….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seniors having babies…

With all the new technology regarding fertility recently, a 65-year-old
woman was able to give birth to a baby.

When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit.

“May we see the new baby?” one asked.

“Not yet,” said the mother. “I’ll make coffee and we can visit for awhile first.”

Thirty minutes had passed, and another relative asked, “May we see the new baby now?”

“No, not yet,” said the mother.

After another few minutes had elapsed, they asked again, “May we see the baby now?”

“No, not yet,” replied the mother.

Growing very impatient, they asked, “Well, when can we see the aby?””WHEN HE CRIES!” she told them.

“WHEN HE CRIES??” they demanded. “Why do we have to wait until he CRIES??”

“BECAUSE I forgot where I put him.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you Jim Tenn

Filed Under: Senior Jokes, Women

The Ages of Women

Posted on May 15, 2006 Written by rainy Leave a Comment

Age 8: Looks at herself and sees: Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty.

Age 15: Looks at herself and sees: Cinderella/Sleeping Beauty/Cheerleader, or if she is PMS’ing: sees:Pimples/UGLY (“Mom, I can’t go to school looking like this!”)

Age 20: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin,too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she’s going out anyway.

Age 30: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but decides she doesn’t have time to fix it so she’s going out anyway.

Age 40: Looks at herself and sees: “too fat/too thin, too short/too tall, too straight/too curly” – but says, “At least, I’m clean” and goes out anyway.

Age 50: Looks at herself and sees I am” – and goes wherever she wants to.

Age 60: Looks at herself and reminds herself of all the people who can’t even see themselves in the mirror anymore. …goes out and conquers the world.

Age 70: Looks at herself and sees wisdom, laughter and ability – goes out and enjoys life.

Age 80: Doesn’t bother to look. Just puts on a red hat and goes out to participate in the world.

Age 90: Can’t see and doesn’t worry about it!

Filed Under: General Jokes, Women

Don’t Mess with Little Old Ladies!

Posted on April 5, 2006 Written by rainy Leave a Comment

Take a listen to this play by play:

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

Thanks Ken!

Filed Under: Don't Mess with..., Women

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About Me

Left handed, Gemini Baby Boomer, circa 1955. Loved Mickey Mouse, Motown and being my own personal United Nations. I miss watching Grade B Sci-Fi, eating those big crunchy dill pickles out of a jar and swooning over some long forgotten star. The one thing I know for sure... we've got to laugh. I've waited a long time to cultivate my graying hair and be able to call someone "sunny boy".

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