MEGA MORON #1
A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and demanded all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? $15.
MEGA MORON #2
Kentucky: Two men tried to pull the front off an ATM (cash) machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck. Scared, they fled the scene and drove home, with the chain still attached to the machine….with their bumper still attached to the chain…with their vehicle’s license plate still attached to the bumper.
MEGA MORON #3
Seems this Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he’d just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on video tape.
MEGA MORON #4
As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then
taken out of the car and told to stand there so they could get “a positive ID”. To which the clever thief quickly replied “Yes Officer, that’s her. That’s the lady I stole the purse from.”
MEGA MORON #5
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5am, flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn’t open the cash register without a food order to enter. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren’t available
for breakfast. The frustrated would-be thief walked away.
MEGA MORON #6 And 5 Star Stupidity Award Winner!
The Seattle Police received a 911 call about a man seen trying to siphon gas from a parked motorhome. Police arrived at the scene to find an ill man curled up next to a motorhome near a pool of spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline but apparently had put his siphon hose into
the motor home’s blackwater (sewage) tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, as justice had been duly served.