John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spendin’ the rest of me
life, between the legs of me wife!”
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night!”
She said, “Aye, did ye now.Â And what was your toast?”
John said, “Here’s to spendin’ the rest of me life, sittin’ in church beside me wife!”
“Oh, that is very nice, indeed, John!” said Mary.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.Â The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize last night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”
She said, “Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.Â You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years.Â Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come.”
Submitted by: Dennis Driscoll